Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Love is Messy

My post about Love on my other blog was one of the most viewed. People want to read about Love. There is so much hate in this world.

Love is messy.

It is many things, but it is not always clear. That's why there are so many questions and so many books out there on the topic. It is never ending and fathomless. There are many ways to present a branch of the topic of Love. I want to do so.

I have been looking into what format I want to use. People want quick reads these days, so I'm thinking about length and depth.

It has long been my intention to write a book about Love. I hesitate because there are so many books on Love already that do a great job of saying what I want to say. However, I know that no one can say it the way I can. I have a lot of research. I do. It's not all referenced the way I want it, and it's not yet organized the way I want it..

Enough excuses! I must begin to work in earnest upon this great book!

Here are a few thoughts:

Love is something we have to experience, and we have to give it away, both to others and to ourselves. Love can be shared, passed to another, but only in the sense that they mimic our emotion. They can't have our brains with our specific hormones. 

As with other emotions, love is a choice. You can feel it, or you can suppress it.

Love is not an emotion but action. All emotions are temporary and fleeting. The feeling of love and the actions of love are connected. Just like you feel like doing something to please the person whom you love, you can also develop feelings of love by doing the things that please your partner. If you only feel love and don’t perform the corresponding actions, the feelings wouldn’t sustain for long.
You can fall out of love, too. Something else takes priority in your life above that person and you move from sacrificing yourself to care for them to liking and appreciating them, but leaving them mostly alone. Without the action, you no longer love them.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Energy Well Spent?

We all only have a finite amount of energy each day. The way we spend it determines how successful we are.

Massive effort = Massive results, right?

If I want to write a book, I have to use my energy writing. If I am reading social media, but not promoting my work and receiving motivational feedback from fans, I am wasting my energy.

If I want to learn how to publish, how to market, how to grow, then I have to seek out resources, study, and get tips from pros.

I can't help but think that massive energy can be spent in all the wrong places, though. I could have great intentions and work really hard on something only to have it all end or unravel no matter how many times I keep trying.

Yet, if I am truly learning, then I won't retry a failed attempt and will instead try something different. Even if the massive effort ends, it is a step towards the ultimate goal.

Keep learning.

Two of the pros I subscribe to seem to be saying the same thing; to focus your energy without distractions and work smarter, not harder. I have had these moments of "flow" before where I get a massive amount of work accomplished in a small amount of time. You get "in the zone" and nothing else matters but what you are working on.

They ask us to dream big and then act big. The dreams they had were just ideas, but instead of running from them or convincing themselves that they were frivolous, they actually tried to make them come true. They contacted people to ask questions and gain permissions. They researched sponsors, shared their dreams, gained support, and did something cool.

What cool things can I do this year? What about you?

I will admit that I do not have clearly defined writing goals as of this day. I have a few projects I want to work on, but no large ultimate 'dream' goal. That may come later as I simply get my head into the habit of writing. I certainly hope so.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Hello 2017!

I realized the other day that I met my husband and we went on our first date in January 18 years ago.

15 years ago we were married.

14 years ago I had my first child.

12 years ago I graduated from college.

10 years ago I had my second child.

9 years ago I started writing and blogging and whining about my life.

5 years ago I finally got a job that used my degree and completed classes to keep it that way.

3 years ago my favorite writing site was taken down and replaced by another that is still getting up on it's feet. The writing friends I had slowly moved on with their lives as I moved on with mine.

It's time now to reverse the slow decline from this most precious part of me. I write because I am a writer.


My goals for 2017 include blogging more.

I'm going to work on fixing my Smashwords ebooks, working on my author pages on various sites, and streamlining my brand/platform.

It's a new year; the perfect time to learn more about the business of writing, myself through my writing, and renew bonds with old writing friends as well as make new ones.